


Hey, Soul Sister

by situation_normal



Series: Hey, Soul Sister [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asshole Ben Solo, Banter, Bullying, Cell Phones, Childhood Trauma, College Student Rey (Star Wars), F/M, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Light Angst, Minor Violence, Mutual Dislike, Red Dwarf References, Red String of Fate, Reylo - Freeform, Romantic Comedy, Stranded, Texting, True Love, photographer Ben Solo, probably too much swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-13 13:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16018721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/situation_normal/pseuds/situation_normal
Summary: Ben Solo is an ass. He has no idea that the girl he  just bumped into at the station is about to turn his world upside down.Preview:Rey gasped and pressed a hand over her mouth as she remembered her collision with the world’s biggest knobhead half an hour ago. “Oh, no,” she groaned. “We must’ve picked up each other’s phones.”





	1. One of My Kind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kate_Reid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Reid/gifts).



> This is for my pal, Kate_Reid, who has taught me so much about writing (don't blame her for the errors, though.) I hope you enjoy this fic! She also was the one to tell me that life's too short to be embarrassed about liking cheesey music, so this fic is named after the song by Train "Hey, Soul Sister" ha
> 
> There is some images used in the fic, I've marked them with asterisk and I will do a plain text description in the end notes for anyone who can't see them. They're memes.
> 
> I only have two chapters planned for this, it was originally gonna be a one-shot, but it sort of ran away with me. Some events in this are heavily inspired by the Kdrama "Love Rain"

Ben Solo checked his phone impatiently and stifled a growl of annoyance as the minutes ticked by. His train was already five minutes late, and he had a shoot to get to in half an hour.

He readjusted his camera bag when he spotted the train making it’s way to the station. Fucking finally. Ben flicked his long black hair and chanced a glance back at the woman who’d been checking him out from the other end of the platform. He took off his sunglasses and winked at her brazenly, smirking to himself. _Not now, Solo. You’re in a rush._

As the train screeched to a halt in front of him, he pressed to the front of the throng of commuters gathering around the doors; he wasn’t the only one who was running late because of this cock-up.

The doors hissed open and passengers poured out, Ben pushed through them in an attempt to get on first. His plan was foiled when a scruffy girl with an armful of books and a ridiculous hairstyle slammed into him, knocking herself onto the ground and spilling not only her books, but his phone onto the platform.

She scrabbled around for her books, her cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment or exertion, he couldn’t tell which. God, her clothes were shitty; some cheap beige hoodie over black leggings and a pair of busted Green Flash trainers. She looked up at him apologetically and her face fell at the sight of his disdainful expression.

Ben snatched his phone from the ground. “Be more careful next time. For fuck's sake, some people have important places to be,” he snapped, rushing onto the train before the doors closed.

++++

“Dickhead,” Rey grumbled as she gathered the last of her books from the dirty station floor. She grabbed her phone, the screen wasn’t smashed, thank god for small mercies.

She wasn’t about to let some douchebag ruin the first day of her new life. Rey grinned at the thought, yes, today was the day she was finally free of her arsehole foster father. The day that she was going to move in with her best friend, Finn, and start her first year of university.

Once she’d collected up her books, she made her way to the exit and the station car park where she was meeting Finn. He beamed at her when he spotted her, pulling her into a bear hug before he took her bag and shoved it into the back seat of his car.

“Life begins, Rey! Let’s get home, I can’t wait for you to meet Rose. How was your trip?” he asked.

She climbed into the passenger seat, practically bouncing with excitement. “It was great, my last train was a little delayed, but only like five minut—”

“Your phone’s ringing,” Finn interrupted.

Rey blinked, cocking her head to the side as she listened to the low buzzing coming from the back seat. “That’s not mine,” she shrugged. “I always have my ring volume all the way up.”

He pointed to his phone in the cup holder between them. “It's not mine, dude. Maybe you flipped the sound off by accident?”

She reached into the side pocket of her bag and pulled out her phone. It _was_ ringing. It definitely was _not_ her phone. She stared at the screen for a moment in disbelief.

 _Dad calling_.

“Uh... this isn’t mine,” she murmured.

Finn raised his eyebrows. “How’d that happen?”

Rey gasped and pressed a hand over her mouth as she remembered her collision with the world’s biggest knobhead half an hour ago. “Oh, no,” she groaned. “We must’ve picked up each other’s phones.”

“What? Who?” Finn pressed.

“I walked into someone on the platform, we dropped our phones. Oh shit. Finn, he was such a dick, what do I do?” she asked, desperately hoping her friend would have an answer to her predicament which wouldn’t involve interacting with the guy again.

Finn laughed. “Well, you should probably start with answering that call, you need your phone back, too, right?”

Rey sighed and nodded, but the call ended a moment before she tried to answer. Ah, well. Better call back. She swiped the missed call across the screen and pressed the phone to her ear, the dialling tone barely finishing before a breathless voice answered on the other end.

“ _Ben? I—I can’t believe you’re calling me,”_ the shaking male voice uttered. Shit. _“It's been so long; you... have you forgiven me? Us? Come home, Ben, we miss you—we love you.”_ Double shit.

Rey cleared her throat. “Uh... Hey, I’m sorry, I’m not your son.” She cringed as she imagined his disappointment. “We just bumped into each other at the station and we must’ve picked up each other’s phones. I don’t know him, I was hoping you’d be able to put us in touch so I can get my phone back.”

The man released a deep, shuddering breath before he replied. _“Sorry, kid. You probably guessed by now, but I’m not gonna be able to help you. My son hasn’t spoken to me in nearly ten years. I can tell you that his name is Ben Solo, and he works at a fashion magazine called ‘First Order.’ I apologise on his behalf if he acts like a jackass when you finally get your phone back—that’s probably my fault. Good luck.”_

The line went dead and Rey swallowed thickly. What the fuck.

++++

Ben adjusted his lens and snapped another three shots of the model standing in front of him. It was Snoke’s star model, Phasma, and he had chosen Ben to photograph her for the latest cover shoot.

“Great work, Phasma,” he praised. It felt good to work with someone who actually knew what they were doing. Ben had a reputation for being difficult to work with, but the reality was the opposite—if the model did as he requested, he had no reason to get wound up.

 _//When I saw you for the first time (first time)_  
_My knees began to quiver (quiver)//_

What the—was that... music? Ben jerked his head up to glare at whoever it was that had dared to interrupt his shoot. There was no one but a very confused looking Mitaka behind him. The music continued, in fact, it seemed to increase in volume.

 _//and I got a funny feeling (feeling)_  
_In my kidneys and my liver (digestive system baby)//_

Ben narrowed his eyes at his assistant. “What the fuck, Mitaka? Is this a joke?”

Mitaka was visibly perspiring as the music carried on, Ben recognised the song; in fact, he would’ve laughed any other time, but right now he was working, and he was getting pissed off.

 _//my hands they started shakin' (shakin')_  
_My heart began a-thumpin' (boom, boom, boom)//_

“Sir,” Mitaka squeaked. “It's... it’s coming from your jacket.”

Phasma tapped her foot and rolled her eyes. “Are we done here? I have a lunch date.”

Ben straightened up to his full height, fighting to keep his breathing even as his irritation rose. He stomped over to Mitaka, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Whatever prank you’re trying to pull here, it better stop right now before—”

A lilting chuckle cut him off and he spun to look at Phasma, who was now standing by the coat rack holding his phone. “He’s right, it's your phone. Who the heck is ‘Finn?’ I actually think I recognise his face, didn’t he used to work here?”

 _//Why do you make me tongue tied (tongue tied) tongue tied_  
_Whenever you are near me? (near me)//_

There was no way he... why would he have a crack song from _Red Dwarf_ set as his ringtone? Who the heck was Finn? He relaxed his posture and Mitaka started breathing again. With a confused expression, Ben made his way over to Phasma and took his phone from her hand.

He looked down at the call he was receiving. This was definitely not his phone. Finn... Ben recognised the guy, too, now that he was confronted with a picture of his grinning face—he used to be an intern at FO.

Ben swiped to accept the call, still mildly bewildered by the whole situation. “Hello?”

 _“Ben Solo?”_ a girls voice answered.

Ben heard a scuffling on the other end of the line and another voice, a man’s voice, repeated her words in apparent horror. _“Ben Solo?! Rey! You didn’t say you knew his name! Hang up, now! That guy is a freaking—”_

Shushing followed by more scuffling and a door slamming shut before the girl came back, she cleared her throat. _“Uh, hi, Ben?”_

“This is Ben Solo speaking,” he replied, his brow creasing as the mystery deepened. “Who is this?”

_“Hey, listen, we bumped into each other at the station this morning and it seems like we must’ve switched phones accidentally. Can I meet you somewhere to switch back?”_

Ben followed his mind back to this morning’s incident at the station, he couldn’t even picture her face. There was a vague memory of a weird hairdo and supermarket clothes. She had a nice voice, though. “I think you mean, you bumped into me,” he smirked.

 _“Look, arsehole, I just want my phone back. I’m so_ sorry _I inconvenienced you for five seconds this morning.”_ She didn’t sound sorry. _“I’m sure you’d appreciate as much as I would if we could get this mess sorted out as quickly as possible. Where can you meet me today? Do you have a lunch break?”_

“’Asshole?’ and I deserve that, why? Because I didn’t stop and help you pick up your books, like a good sempai? I don’t have time for this, kid, you can dump my phone, I’ll buy another one. Send your postal address to me at First Order, I’m guessing your buddy, Finn, will remember where. I’ll send your phone when I get time,” Ben said, chewing his lip to stifle a laugh. This girl was a riot. Where was the harm in messing with her a bit?

_“You’ve got to be joking. I need my phone back. I need it today! Can I come to your office and collect it this afternoon?”_

Ben shook his head, this was too easy. “I'm out of office this afternoon, sorry.”

 _“That sounds made-up, but okay. I’m guessing you’re not going anywhere that can’t be reached by car? I’ll meet you wherever,”_ she insisted.

He searched his mind for the most remote shooting locations they’d used, imagining the hilarity of sending her to the top of a snow capped mountain. The idea actually had merit, he didn’t want to put her in danger, though. He would have to be there, too.

He actually did have a shoot this afternoon, in studio, but Snoke was always open to his ideas, and he was certain he’d be able to find somewhere conveniently inconvenient to arrange to meet this girl. “I’ll text you the location and time,” he said, cutting off the call before she had a chance to respond.

Ben spent his lunch hour laughing over the memes the girl had saved in her camera roll. She didn’t have a passcode, and he’d been looking for a selfie to put a face to her voice, but found none.

He rearranged the shoot for a woodland reserve an hour outside the city and texted his own phone with the details.

++++

“I'm borrowing your car,” Rey snapped, grabbing Finn's keys and heading for the door.

Finn jumped up from the couch and rushed over to her, a look of panic on his face. “Rey, no. You don’t know this guy like I do—he's the worst kind of entitled douchebag you can think of. Just forget the phone, I’ve got an old one you can have. I interned at that place for three months and I swear to god he made me cry sixty-seven times. _Sixty-seven_ times, Rey! And I am not a crier!”

Rey rolled her eyes. “I can handle myself, Finn. I’ve spent the last fifteen years of my life living with Unkar Plutt—if this Solo guy thinks he can make my life difficult, he’s got another thing coming.”

“That’s not even what I’m worried about, the guy's got a reputation as a playboy; apparently there's barely a model on the circuit that he hasn’t banged. You’ve pissed him off, I wouldn’t put it past him to try and get you into bed for a spite fuck.”

Rey paused. “So, what, you don’t think it’s safe for me to be alone with him?” she asked, hesitantly.

Finn shook his head. “No! I mean... he’s not _that_ type of bad guy, I saw him punch a guy in the face once for saying something disrespectful about one of the models... I just—Rey, you’ve got a soft heart, I don’t wanna see you get tangled up with this jerk and end up hurt.”

“Don’t patronize me, Finn. Who says I wouldn’t want to spite fuck _him_? Anyway, I really need my phone back, I only just got it. I’m going to meet him at this nature reserve he’s doing a photoshoot at, I’ve written down the address for you. I’ll bring a take-away and some booze so we can celebrate my moving in when Rose gets back, if I’m not home by, say, midnight... send the police,” she said with a snigger.

Finn just looked at her, his face ashen. “I’m serious when I say, I most definitely will do that. Stay safe.”

Rey blew him a kiss and walked out of the apartment, pulling the phone out of her pocket to text Ben that she was running a little late.

++++

Ben watched Mitaka pack up the last of the equipment and checked the phone again. No signal, of course, but force of habit and all that crap. Bazine slunk over to his side and placed a hand on his arm.

“Come for a drink with me when we get back?” she purred in his ear.

Ben shrugged her hand off and shook his head, not looking up from the phone as he replied, “I’m busy tonight.” He wasn’t. “I don’t feel like drinking.” He did.

“Boss,” Mitaka called from the van. “That’s us packed up, shall we make a move?”

Ben glanced over at his assistant, then towards the entrance of the forest-surrounded car park; no sign of her, but he couldn’t stand her up. He'd thought it would be a funny prank to have her follow him out to the middle of nowhere to get her phone, but he didn’t want to potentially abandon her in an area she didn’t know with no phone signal.

Bazine tapped her foot pointedly. “I want to get out of here. This place is disgusting.”

“Fuck off, then,” Ben snapped. “I’m meeting someone here, I’ll catch a lift back with them. Mitaka,” he called. “Take Baz back to the studio, I’ll be fine.”

Ben crossed his arms and leant against a tree trunk as Bazine stormed off back to the van and climbed in next to Mitaka. He watched regretfully as the van disappeared out of sight, praying that this damn girl was actually gonna show up after all this. He should have at least asked Mitaka to come back for him if he hadn’t heard from him by the evening.

Just as he was beginning to contemplate running out into the road to flag down a car, an old purple Ford Fiesta pulled into the car park. Thank fuck.

She got out of the car without looking at him. He wasn’t sure if she hadn’t noticed him in the shadow of the trees, or—if the awestruck expression on her face was anything to go by—she was just so amazed by their surroundings that she didn’t bother acknowledging him.

He trudged over to her steadily, to avoid causing her any alarm, and looked her up and down. She had exchanged her trainers for a pair of brown leather ankle boots, and she wore a brown coat with a thick tartan scarf around her neck. Her chestnut hair was still tied in three little buns on the back of her head.

Unexpectedly, she was grinning at him. “This place is amazing! Thank you so much for arranging this here! Is this where you had your photoshoot? Where is everyone else?”

Ben blinked, taken aback by her cheery demeanour. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it wasn’t this. Irritation? Maybe. Snark? Definitely. Enthusiasm? Definitely not. “Uh—yeah, well a bit further into the woods. And they left, you’re late,” he said. “Can I get a ride back to town with you?”

She hummed as if she was contemplating turning him down, and narrowed her eyes at him. “You waited here in the middle of nowhere for me, assuming that I’d give you a lift home, even though we’ve met all of one time and we don’t like each other?”

He nodded.

“Okay, sure, you can tag along with me. I’m Rey by the way,” she smiled, holding out a hand for him to take.

Ben stared at her hand for a moment and slowly extended his own. What was it about this girl? His brain didn’t seem to be working properly in her presence. The moment their fingertips brushed, she laughed. He flicked his eyes up to meet hers.

“I meant, for my phone?” she said, her eyes sparkling with mirth.

Ben pulled back his hand and gritted his teeth in annoyance. _Idiot_. “Oh, yeah.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out her phone, placing it into her open hand.

Rey grabbed his phone from her bag and passed it to him. “Actually, are you in a rush? Because I'd really like to look around this place a bit more if you can wait.”

“Do I have a choice?” he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Wow, Finn gave me the impression that I should watch out for your smooth playboy moves, but you’re a stoic bastard, aren’t you? I guess at least I’m not in any danger of falling in love with you and having my heart broken,” she grinned.

Ben smirked. “Playboy moves? I don’t need any of that shit, I only have to look at a girl the right way and she’s head over heels. Maybe you should watch out for that.”

“I have that power, too. Come on, look into my eyes.” She waved her fingers over her face mockingly. “All you have to do is look into my eyes for one full minute, and you’ll be gone,” Rey laughed.

Never a man to turn down a challenge—he knew he could turn this around on her—Ben switched on his best smoulder, and looked her dead in the eyes. One full minute, she said. Easy.

Her grin never wavered, even as Ben felt himself getting lost in a world of warm hazel eyes. The smirk dropped from his face as he took her in—really took her in. She was... something. There was something familiar behind her eyes, something he recognised.

Before he knew it, she was snapping her fingers in front of his dazed face. “In love with me, yet?” she giggled.

 _Yes_.

“Let’s go, can you show me where you had the photoshoot?” she asked, nodding towards the path behind him.

Ben straightened and made a strangled sound from the back of his throat. _Tongue tied._ “Uh—yes,” he managed. “This way.”

She followed him through to the small clearing they had used for the shoot. It was a good location; one of Ben’s favourites. The greens of the forest around them were gradually turning to brown, and a few stray leaves dropped from the trees.

The autumn sunlight was already fading, but the sunset cast a beautiful golden glow into the clearing, illuminating Rey’s face as she gasped and giggled with joy. A gust of wind rustled the trees above them and a fresh scattering of leaves fell.

Ben reached for his camera instinctively, taking shot after shot of her shining face; her lyrical way of moving. She was right, one minute looking in her eyes and he was so gone for this girl.

After what felt like hours of silently exploring the woods together, but was probably more like one, they finally made their way back to the carpark just as the last of the daylight disappeared.

Rey hopped into the drivers seat and Ben slid into the passenger seat next to her, waiting for her to start the car. After a few minutes of clicking and silence he turned to her, he could hardly see her face in the darkness.

“Why aren’t you starting the car?” he asked, already half knowing the answer.

Another click. “It won’t start,” she groaned. “I’m such an idiot, I’m sorry, I left the radio on. Don’t worry, I’ll call Finn; he’ll send someone out to jumpstart this for us. God, I’m so sorry.”

“There’s no signal here,” Ben pointed out. He should be pissed off with this situation, but somehow he couldn’t be annoyed when it meant he could spend more time with her—more time to try and find a reason to keep in touch.

He heard a thunk as she dropped her forehead onto the steering wheel. “Oh, no! Finn is going to freak out about this. He’s got the impression that you’re some kind of monster.”

“I am a monster,” Ben breathed. May as well be honest with her from the start. “A cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity.”

She shifted in her seat next to him. “Was that—was that a _Red Dwarf_ quote?” He could hear the grin in her voice. “My ringtone.”

“Mmhmm,” he replied, leaning back in his seat. “It's obnoxiously loud. You interrupted an important shoot.”

Rey barked a short laugh. “Sorry.”

“You don’t sound sorry,” he mused.

“You should call your dad,” she murmured.

Ben felt his blood freeze. _What?_ He sat up straight and turned to face her, uselessly searching for her eyes. “Why?”

He heard a rustle and her silhouette shrugged. “He called... I had only just realised that our phones were switched so I panicked and called back. He said he loves you. Don’t take that for granted.”

“I'm not calling him. End of discussion. Lets talk about something else,” he growled.

“No, let’s talk about this. Do you know how lucky you are to have parents who give a damn about you? And you’re throwing that back in their faces,” she countered.

Ben bristled. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Don’t project your parent issues onto me. So, what, your parents didn’t give a shit about you? Did they throw you away, like garbage? Just because your parents were shittier than mine, doesn’t mean that mine weren’t shit, and I’m allowed to be angry with them for it.”

Silence. A sniffle. _Shit_.

“Rey... I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I’m an idiot. Fuck. I’m so sorry,” he said pleadingly.

“No,” she sniffed. “You’re right. They did, and I guess I was a bit shaken up by that call from your dad this morning, I wanted to bring it up, but I didn't know how. I thought since we're stuck here together we could talk.” She cleared her throat. “Should we go out and see if we can flag someone down to jumpstart the car?”

Ben chewed his cheek. There was more that needed to be said, he knew that, but he forced himself to hum in agreement and open the door.

They stood together on the side of the pitch-black road for an hour. Not one car passed them, and Ben was shivering when they finally got back into the car.

“No wonder you’re cold in that thin jacket,” she commented. Her quilted supermarket coat, of course, keeping her warm.

“This ‘thin jacket’ is a Burberry trench coat, and it’s worth more than your entire outfit put together,” he grumbled defensively.

She chuckled. Good, he’d made her laugh. “Don’t be so sure of that, Playboy, I’m wearing a lot of layers.”

She shuffled in her seat again and he felt a soft weight land on his thighs. His cheeks flushed. _Why am I blushing?_ He reached down to feel the plush texture of her scarf on his lap.

“You can borrow this, it'd be good if you didn’t catch hypothermia while we’re out here,” she said with a yawn. “I’m gonna try and get some sleep.”

Ben wrapped the scarf around his neck, instantly enveloping himself in her warmth and scent. The comfort it brought him was instantaneous and addictive, he breathed in the smell of her and felt himself relax in his seat.

He marvelled at her unquestioning trust as he listened to her breathing even out. He worried for her, how could she just fall asleep like that in the middle of nowhere with a strange man? He didn’t feel like they were strangers anymore; he felt like he’d known her his whole life.

Ben locked the doors and settled himself back in his seat. He resolved to warn her in the morning not to put herself in such a dangerous situation again in future.

++++

Rey’s eyes snapped open to a blinding light and a sharp rapping on the window next to her. The overlarge form of Ben Solo in the car next to her groaned and mumbled something that sounded like, “Fuck off.”

She blinked several times before she realised there was a policeman outside the car, shining a torch through the window. She sat up straight and jabbed Ben in the ribs before rolling the window down.

The officer held up his badge. “Sergeant Kenobi,” he said gruffly. “Rey Johnson, I presume?”

Rey cleared her throat and nodded. “Yes, that’s me.”

He raised the torch to shine it on Ben’s face, which instantly screwed up in displeasure and he cringed away, pulling his Burberry trench coat over his eyes. “And Ben Solo.”

“That’s him,” Rey confirmed.

“Miss Johnson, I have an extremely panicked friend of yours down at the station, insisting that you’ve gone missing after meeting a disreputable individual at this nature reserve. Care to tell me what happened?” he asked.

“’Disreputable?’” Ben cut in. “Sir, I’ll have you know that I’m a highly respected professional in my sector—”

“Don’t start, young man. I can see you’re both unharmed. Car broke down, did it?”

Rey nodded. “Flat battery, I left the radio on and we didn’t get any phone signal here.”

“Alright, I’ve got some jump leads in the car, let’s get you back on the road,” the officer sighed.

Rey and Officer Kenobi sorted the car out while Ben sat in his seat frowning. He continued to frown all the way back to the city.

“Where do you live?” Rey finally asked him as they breached the city limits.

“The new apartments at Riverside. I’ll direct you,” he said in a low voice.

Rey chewed her lip, anxiously. Was he still angry with her about what she’d said? “It was... sort of nice meeting you, in the end,” she murmured as she pulled up outside his fancy apartment block.

Ben looked over at her, his brow still knit tightly; his expression unreadable in the glow of the orange streetlights. “Is that it?” he asked hesitantly. “Don’t you... feel that?”

She blinked in confusion. Was this what Finn had warned her about? Because if so, this was some unorthodox moves he was trying. “Feel what?”

“Rey...” He leaned in towards her and Rey froze. _What_. He cupped her cheek with one hand and she broke from her momentary stupor. She pressed one hand over his mouth, taking the hand that was on her cheek in the other.

“Sorry, Ben. Despite what Finn said, you actually do seem like a good guy, but he was right about one thing—I’ve got a soft heart, and I can’t really deal with casual sex with someone I already made a connection with. I know that’s sort of your thing so...” She squeezed his hand and removed the one she had been holding over his mouth.

Ben pressed his lips together and nodded, leaning back against his seat. Rey didn’t let go of his hand, worried she'd hurt his pride. He swallowed and turned to face her again. “Can we at least be friends?”

Rey grinned and nodded enthusiastically. “I think we already are. You've got my number, right? Call me any time.”

++++

Ben slumped down on his bed, sighing deeply. How could he convince Rey that his feelings were genuine? After everything that had happened today, he felt like the world was somehow pushing them together.

He wasn’t going to convince her with words like destiny, or soul-mate; he had to start from the basics. Prove that he cares about her—that he’s not going anywhere soon.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he fired off a quick text message.

 **Ben:** _Let me know when you’re home safe._

Her reply was almost instant.

 **Rey:** _I’m back. Finn is pissed off *oops* lmao. Had a lot of fun today x_

Ben grinned. Was that a kiss? He didn’t want this day to end, even if it was technically over now at 3am. He did a Google search and sent her a meme.

 **Ben:** *

  
**Rey:** _lmao go to sleep idiot. Maybe we can meet up again soon? I want my scarf back x_

 **Ben:** _it’s mine now, sorry._  
**

**Ben:**   _I_ _want to see you again. Goodnight, Rey._

 **Rey** : _night Ben x_

He clutched her scarf in one hand and rolled over in bed, his mind buzzing with memories of her. He pressed the scarf to his face and inhaled deeply. Fuck. There was no way he was getting to sleep now.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * picture of Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf wearing a red gingham dress and hat, holding up a penguin puppet. Text reads: Mr Flibble is VERY cross
> 
> ** picture of Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf with a look of pride on his face. Text reads: It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard.
> 
> Chapter 2 will be Ben's efforts to win Rey's love and trust. A bit of family drama. Happy ending.
> 
> Say hi in the comments if you're enjoying this or come and say hi on tumblr [situation-normal](https://situation-normal.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Edit notes to add that the epic wee song that's quoted in this is [this](https://youtu.be/a3t3IKlXqFU) actual crack tune from Red Dwarf. You are most welcome.


	2. You Gave My Life Direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things got way more Pride & Prejudice than I meant them to guys. Also, I have upped the chapter count to three chapters because I want to end with Ben happier than he is here!

Rey groaned and pulled her pillow over her pounding head to block out the blinding sunlight that was burning her eyelids. Wait. Was that her head pounding? Or...

“Rey!” Finn yelled through the door. More loud knocking. “You need to get up, your classes start today!”

“Ugh,” Rey moaned. “Alright, Finn, I'm awake. I'm getting up.”

She’d stayed up way too late again, texting Ben. It was probably unwise—she still didn’t fully trust him not to make another move on her—but what could she do? She really, genuinely liked the guy.

If she didn’t like him so much, everything would be so much simpler. She could’ve jumped into bed with him that first night and then forgotten about him. But there was something there. Something that made her feel like he was meant to be in her life somehow.

Rey hauled herself out of bed and stretched widely, grinning as she spotted her phone flashing with a message on her bedside table.

 **Ben:** _Bet you’re asleep now. Coward. If you get this when you wake up, have a good first day. Meet me for a coffee later?_

Rey laughed. They'd been texting all weekend, but they hadn’t met up face to face since the day they’d been stranded in the woods together. She was both excited and apprehensive about seeing him again.

 **Rey:** _sure. I’ll call you when my last class kicks out. Can you meet me on campus? I don’t know the city very well x_

An ellipsis instantly appeared at the bottom of the screen, letting her know he was typing. Didn’t he ever sleep?

 **Ben:** _Can’t wait. Btw no idea why you wouldn’t let me kiss you the other night, when you’re giving them out so liberally in text form._

Rey blushed and dropped her phone on the bed. Shit. She always signed off messages with an “x” ... was he reading something into that? Probably best to laugh it off and remember to rein that particular habit in.

 **Rey:** _lmao god sorry. Old habits die hard._

 **Ben:** _No need to call me ‘God.’ See you later. X_

“Rey! You’re gonna be late! Get out here now if you want a ride!” Finn called, startling her out of her post-sleep, post-flirty text message daze.

“I'm nearly ready!” she lied as she pulled on yesterday’s clothes and ran her fingers through her hair. No time to do her buns today.

She grabbed her bag and made sure she had all her paperwork and ID. Missing Fresher’s Week had been a bummer, but a necessary evil so that she could work right up to the end of her notice and save as much money as possible before moving out of Plutt's. Rey assumed Fresher's wouldn’t hold the same shine for her as it would for the other new students anyway, since she was living off campus.

“Don’t tell me you stayed up all night texting that asshole again,” Finn griped as she walked through the door.

Rey averted her eyes. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Finn took a step towards her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “Rey, you have barely looked up from your phone since you woke up on Saturday morning. I’m _literally_ your only friend; I know you’re not texting Plutt and giggling at his replies.” He sighed deeply. “I warned you about that guy, don’t you dare say I didn’t. He’s bad news. If you’re not getting your hopes up about him, then go ahead—it's not up to me to dictate who you do, but I know what you’re like; I know what he’s like. You guys literally couldn’t be more opposite, and I really don’t wanna see you get screwed over.”

Rey chewed her lip and nodded, looking back up into her best friend's concerned eyes. “It's really not like that, Finn. You don’t have to worry about me, we’re just friends. I know he’s an arsey bastard but—” she shrugged, gesturing vaguely. “—not to me, y’know. And there's more to it than that. He needs a friend, and I’ve been that person before, you know I have. I like him.”

Finn rolled his eyes but nodded in resignation. “You be you, Rey. Just remember I’m here for you if this all goes to shit.”

They walked in silence together out to the car, Rey regretted the slight awkwardness that hung in the air between them.

Once he’d started the car and set off in the direction of the university, Finn broke the quiet with a warm chuckle. “I guess that’s what makes you so great, anyway. You always manage to see the good in everyone.” He smiled at her when they stopped at a Red light. “So, who have you got today? How many lectures?”

Rey grimaced, despite how excited she'd been, now that they were on the way there, her stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. “Nothing much in the morning, I have to go to reception for a late induction. I’ve got one lecture this afternoon, I’m guessing that’ll be an introductory type thing, too. I can’t remember his name, some weird long name.” She rooted in her bag for her schedule.

“Dameron? Poe Dameron? I had him most of the time my first year,” Finn offered.

“Nah, that’s not a weird name. I’m talking ‘this guy obviously invented his own fancy name’ type name. Ah! Here it is, Skywalker. Luke Skywalker. Weird, right?” Rey giggled.

“He must be new.” Finn shrugged as they pulled into the university carpark. “I’ve never heard of him. Here we are then, I’ll take you to reception and then I need to get to my lecture. Let’s meet up at lunch. I hope you enjoy your first steps into the wonderful world of Mechanical Engineering!”

++++

Ben was the only man whistling on the platform on the way to work this morning, he was certain nothing could dampen his mood today. He had spent the whole weekend talking to Rey, and he almost felt light headed with all the weight that seemed to have lifted from his mind just from her presence there.

He noticed the same woman who'd been eyeing him up last week out of the corner of his eye. She was attractive, and Ben had an eye for spotting beautiful women, but he didn't even spare her a glance.

As far as Ben was concerned, right now there was only one woman in this world, and her name was _Rey_.

The train was late, so he spent the extra time going through the photos he'd taken that night in the woods. He would show her today; she could probably make it as a model herself, but he'd never tell her that. Better to keep her as far as possible from Snoke and the whole rotten industry.

She hadn't replied to his message from earlier, the one with the kiss, and that caused him some slight anxiety. He wasn’t used to feeling unsure of how to approach a woman, it had never mattered before. Had he gone overboard? He pulled up his messenger app and sent her a meme to ease his mind.

 **Ben:** *

 

The train appeared and he pocketed his phone, rushing to get through the doors before they closed. She was probably busy. She hadn’t cancelled on him, so it can’t have been that bad.

He knew he would have to just be straight up with her. There was no way in hell he was about to walk up to her and tell her he'd fallen in love with her at first— _second_ sight, but he could admit to her that he had feelings for her and he hoped they could be more some day.

The thought of being honest with her and hearing her reaction raised the hair on the back of his neck. She could reject him outright and maybe he'd never see her again. It was a painful thought, but the idea of going into a friendship with her without her knowing from the start that he wanted more was worse.

He checked his phone again—still no reply. He forced himself to breathe normally and relaxed into his journey.

“You’re late, Ren,” Hux drawled when Ben rocked into the office, admittedly twenty minutes late.

“We've worked together for nearly ten years, Hux,” Ben growled, pouring himself a coffee. “You know my fucking name.”

“Snoke wants to see you. He’s not happy that you’ve been ignoring his emails,” Hux said smugly as he took a sip from his own coffee.

Fuck. He'd been so distracted all weekend that it hadn’t even crossed his mind to check his work emails—he should’ve known that Snoke would be angry—there was barely a moment over the past ten years that work hadn’t been Ben’s number one priority.

“I’ve been busy. I’m allowed a private life,” Ben muttered.

Hux scoffed. “Are you sure? Because I’m not sure Snoke knows that.”

Ben made his way to the Editor-in-chief’s office, attempting to quash the sense of impending dread as he knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Snoke said icily.

Ben steeled himself and entered the ostentatious room. His boss sat behind his desk in his usual disgusting gold suit and pinned Ben with his cold blue eyes.

“You disappoint me, young Solo. The photos for the cover shoot were inferior to your usual work, and the pictures from Friday’s shoot in the nature reserve that you _insisted_ on relocating were some of the worst you’ve ever turned in,” he spat. “I can’t publish them. I expect you to work overtime today to make up for it.”

Ben dropped his eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry, Mr Snoke.”

“You’re sorry,” he sneered sarcastically. “You've been distracted. Chasing around a girl like a horny teenager.”

Ben’s eyes snapped back up to meet Snoke’s. “How did you—”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know that your work phone isn’t a private line?” Snoke released a cruel laugh. “When you didn’t respond to my urgent emails, I took it upon myself to check your telephone activity—out of concern for my apprentice’s wellbeing, you understand. Playing hard to get, is she? I suggest you get it out of your system by some other, less _distracting_ , means.”

Ben fought to hold onto his composure, even as his blood boiled in his veins. He knew he was nothing without Snoke, but hearing him talk about Rey like that made him feel physically sick—he'd been there, spying, this whole time; tainting what felt like the only pure connection he'd ever made in his life.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Snoke laughed again. “I can check that now for you, if you’d like. Although I’m sure you’ll want to respond, cancelling your little date this afternoon.”

Ben pulled his phone out and read the message on the screen.

 **Rey:** _don’t feel awkward you dope. Just doing some inductions before I meet Finn for lunch. He told me off for talking to you but I won’t stop. Just promise you’re not messing with me or he’ll kill me lol x_

He glanced up to see Snoke smirking at his computer screen. Was he reading this right now? Ben felt his cheeks flame with humiliation.

 **Ben:** _Rey, I wanted to say this in person, but I swear that I will never hurt you, I care about you. Don’t try to contact me on this number anymore, it’s a work phone and I’m quitting my job today. See you later, I’ll text you my new number and you can let me know where to meet you. X_

 **Ben:** _This is for you Mr Snoke_

**

“You can take that as my formal resignation,” Ben said, turning his back on his dumbstruck ex-employer and making his way to his own office to pack his things.

Fuck Snoke. Fuck not being in control of his own life. He had savings, it’s not like he ever had holidays or dependents to spend his money on. Maybe he could sell his new apartment and downsize—start wearing supermarket clothes.

He grabbed his own camera and jotted Rey’s number down on a piece of paper before dumping the phone on his desk and storming out.

++++

“Wow, Rey. I think this might be the first time since we’ve met that you haven’t had your nose stuck in your phone,” Rose giggled. “Something happen with your boyfriend?”

Rey flushed. “He’s not my boyfriend. And I’m sorry, that was really rude of me, wasn’t it?”

Finn cackled through a mouthful of sandwich. “It's fine, actually it just makes for a really unobtrusive roommate.”

Rey smiled awkwardly. She hadn’t told them, but really it seemed like something _had_ happened to Ben. Quitting his job like that? And sending her that cryptic message that she couldn’t reply to? She resisted the urge to check her phone, knowing that she’d be able to hear it when he finally messaged her again.

She bit her lip to stop herself from bringing him up to Finn. It was only a couple more hours before she’d see Ben and he could tell her himself what had happened.

“I have to get back to work,” Rose sighed. She pulled on her coat and pressed a kiss onto the top of Finn's head, waving to Rey as she made her way out of the cafe.

“So what’s _really_ happened?” Finn asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Rey felt her shoulders slump. She should have known Finn would know something was wrong. “I don’t know. He sent me kind of a weird message. Who’s ‘Mr Snoke?’”

Finn's eyes widened. “Why do you ask?”

“Can you just answer, please?” Rey pressed.

“He’s the Editor-in-chief of First Order. I know Ben Solo is an asshole, but Snoke is...” Finn shivered. “He’s a creep, Rey, he’s rotten to the core. And Solo is like his pet project. Ben is a scary guy, you might not have seen that side of him, but when he gets mad, he really fucking loses it.” He shook his head. “But that guy is scared of Snoke, I’ve seen him take some serious verbal abuse over nothing and just stand there looking ashamed of himself. Fuck knows what kind of hold he’s got over Solo, but I guess I'd be pretty angry all the time, too, if I had to deal with that.”

Rey pulled out her phone and showed Finn the last two messages from Ben. “He says he quit his job, then he sent that next picture like he expected Snoke to see it.”

Finn gaped at the screen in disbelief. “No fucking way. What the hell happened?!”

Rey shrugged. “No idea, I’m meeting him after my lecture and I'm guessing he’ll tell me about it then.”

“Shit,” Finn hissed. “We need to get to class. I take it you’ll make your own way home? Call me if anything changes, and keep in touch this time. Don’t disappear off to somewhere I can’t contact you again.”

Rey nodded and pulled on her coat.

“Promise me, Rey. Promise you’ll keep in touch—I still don’t trust this guy,” Finn said, earnest eyes on hers.

“I promise I’ll call you straight away if anything happens,” Rey agreed.

Professor Skywalker seemed like a gentle, if a little jaded, guy. He had a scruffy grey beard and he wore a threadbare brown knitted hoodie. Rey liked him. The lecture was just what she had expected. Basically, Skywalker laying out the basic plans for what they’d be covering over the first term, and introducing themselves, finding out what they already knew.

Rey felt her phone vibrate with a message half way through the afternoon and it was almost painful to resist checking it, but Professor Skywalker had taken a liking to her, and dragged her into a conversation about mechanics that threatened to make the class overrun.

He was still talking to her as she was packing up her books and heading towards the door. “I’m really sorry, Professor, but I’m meeting someone, I really have to get going.”

“Call me Luke,” he said with a slight smile. “I’m new to the area, so it really is nice to meet someone with common interests, I’ll walk out with you if you don’t mind?”

Rey smiled. “Not at all, I just need to make a quick call.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked the message.

 **Unknown Number:** _Call me when you get out. I’m waiting for you by the engineering building. Ben x_

She saved his number and called him straight away as she walked through the corridor with Luke.

 _“Hey,”_ he breathed, his voice heavy with relief. “ _Thanks for calling. I really need to see you. Am I in the right place?”_

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute. I hope you’re alright, I’ve been worried about you all day,” she replied. “See you in a minute, okay? I’m hanging up.”

“ _Okay,”_ he said quietly.

Rey pocketed her phone and turned to smile at Luke. “Sorry about that. I’m meeting my friend right outside.”

“I hope everything’s alright? You seemed concerned about your friend,” Luke asked.

Rey nodded. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, he just needs a friend right now.”

She went ahead while Luke slipped into his office to get his coat. Ben was waiting right outside the door, he looked at her like he was a drowning man and she was a gasp of fresh air.

He reached his arms towards her for a moment, as though he was going to embrace her, and then dropped them to his sides. His face crumpled and Rey’s heart ached. She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“We can hug, you know. Friends _do_ do that,” she said into his chest. She would’ve laughed if he hadn’t looked so completely pitiable.

He pulled her in closer and she felt a soft weight on the top of her head. His chin? Maybe.

“You’re my only friend, so I guess I have some stuff to learn,” he murmured.

Rey pressed her hands against his chest and they separated, he looked down at her tenderly, a wan smile spreading across his face. “Shall we go for that coffee?” she offered.

He nodded and the door slammed behind her, drawing his attention. His pale face turned grey and his jaw went slack, a look of undisguised terror coating his features.

Ben gripped Rey’s arm and dragged her behind his back before she could get a look at what had frightened him so much. He was trembling, and he didn’t let go of her arm.

“What in the everloving fuck are _you_ doing here?” he spat.

Rey peered around him to see the shocked face of her lecturer in front of them.

 _“Ben?”_ Luke gasped. “Ben, I—I don’t know what to say.”

“Whatever you want to say to me, I don’t want to fucking hear it. You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you right here and now, you old bastard,” Ben raged. “Stay the fuck away from me. You—what—you fucking work here now?!” He dragged a hand through his hair and backed away, pushing Rey away from Luke.

Rey pulled her arm out of his grasp and grabbed his hand. He stopped trembling at the contact. “Ben, calm down, let’s get out of here. Forget coffee, let’s go back to your apartment and talk.”

Ben didn’t move, glaring at Luke as if he didn’t dare to turn his back on the man. Luke just stared at him, his shoulders sagging, his eyes open and raw with pain.

“I’ll go,” Luke murmured. “I know you don’t want to hear this, Ben, but I hope you’ll listen. I’m sorry; I’m so sorry. You’re my nephew and I love you. How things ended between us... it’s the biggest regret of my life.”

Luke turned and trudged off towards the car park, leaving them alone. Ben didn’t relax his posture until he was completely out of sight.

Ben let out a shaking breath and his shoulders slumped. He turned slowly to face Rey, not meeting her eyes. He noticed how tightly he was gripping her hand and released her. “Shit, Rey I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head and tried to catch his gaze. “Ben, look at me.”

He did, meeting her stare with his lost brown eyes. He looked totally wrecked. Obviously this day hadn’t gone the way he'd expected, Rey wondered if he was in shock.

“Shall we go back to yours and talk? Can we get a bus there?” she asked gently.

“I don’t know the bus times. I don’t know how to read a bus timetable. I’ll call an Uber,” he mumbled.

++++

Rey was in his apartment. She was sitting on his couch right fucking now, and it should be a dream come true, but it’s all Ben can do to stop himself from openly weeping in front of her.

He realised he was pacing and stopped himself, glancing towards the kitchen for something to keep himself busy.

“Can I get you a drunk?” Shit. He cringed. “A drink. Sorry, Rey, a cup of coffee? Tea?”

And then she was right there next to him. Touching his hand; searching his eyes. The dam broke, and he couldn’t hold himself together anymore. He dropped into a crouch on the floor and covered his face with his hands so she wouldn’t have to see him like this.

Loud sobs ripped through his chest and the tears leaked through his fingers. What the fuck. _What the fuck have I done? Why the fuck was he there?_

Rey crouched down beside him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his head against her. Ben just let her, he didn’t care anymore that she was seeing him cry. He was relieved that she was here, that all this had been for something—for her.

He didn't know how long they sat like that, but his legs hurt when they finally stood. Rey wiped away the last of his tears with her thumbs; Ben noticed she’d been crying, too.

“We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, but I’m here if you do,” she whispered.

He did want to talk about it. At least to her. He needed to justify himself; needed her to see that he trusted her—to see that underneath the uncaring asshole he knew he’d become, he was just a man.

“I quit my job,” he murmured. “My boss had been spying on all our conversations through my work phone. He told me to end things with you.” He shrugged and waved one hand half-heartedly. “I know that there's nothing like that between us to ‘end,’ but, Rey, I need to be honest with you; I still hope that there could be something more between us. Tell me to shut up about this now, and I swear I’ll never bring it up again.”

She was staring at him intently, he couldn’t read her expression. But then she pulled him down into her arms and kissed him softly on the mouth, pulling away a moment later.

“I think maybe... I know what you meant when you said ‘don't you feel that.’” She bit her lip nervously. “I think I feel it, too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * socially awkward penguin meme. Text reads: AWKWARD CONVERSATION  
> HAVE REGRETFUL FLASHBACKS ABOUT IT FOR THE REST OF THE DAY
> 
> ** picture of Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf. Text reads: You are a total, total...a word has yet to be invented to describe how totally "Whatever-it-is" you are, but you are one. And a total, total one at that.


	3. I'm Always Gonna Wanna Blow Your Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we get some backstories here. Please note that what happens with Luke gets told from both Ben and Luke's perspectives, and although Ben is telling the truth, he was very tired when it happened and Luke was wide awake. Luke is also telling the truth from his point of view.  
> Please note I have updated the tags.

**Rey:** _Ben’s a mess. Im staying here tonight x_

 **Finn:** _wow sooo shocked rn dude. So damn shocked. Not sure I’ll ever get over the surprise of this moment._

Rey rolled her eyes at his response and stole a glance towards the kitchen where Ben was clattering around.

 **Rey:** _thanks for being okay with this. Im sleeping on the couch, but I think actually I do like him as more than a friend x_

 **Finn:** _me and rose rn_  *

She huffed a quiet laugh and put her phone down on the coffee table, making her way over to Ben’s expensive looking sound system to check out his music taste.

He walked back into the room with a tub of ice cream and a cup of tea for her as she was rifling through his collection of vinyl.

“I don’t really have much food in, but I figured ice cream usually goes well with this type of situation,” he said, indicating his puffy eyes. “I’ll order in a take-out and call you an Uber after we’ve eaten.”

Rey chewed her lip, a blush creeping across her cheek. “I’m not leaving.”

“What?” he gasped, his eyes widening.

“I'm staying here tonight, you’ve had a crazy day and I don’t wanna leave you on your own to deal with it. We should talk more,” she murmured.

Ben placed her tea on the coffee table and lumbered over to where she was sitting on the floor, dropping down heavily next to her and passing her a spoon. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I'm not letting you sleep on the couch, and I want you to know that I’m not in this for sex, Rey, I need you to really believe that before we—”

“I know,” she interrupted him. “I already believe that.” She cracked open the tub of ice cream and dug herself a decent sized scoop. “Tell me what happened with Luke.”

He winced at the name, but nodded, digging into the ice cream for a much smaller spoonful for himself. “It's kind of a long story.” He glanced up into her eyes for a moment, as if to seek reassurance. “My parents were busy people. Good people. Good for other people—not good parents. I was a handful as a kid, and they just weren’t around enough. Believe it or not, I wasn’t always the devilishly handsome beast of a man in front of you.” He smirked at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Rey took his hand in hers and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

He sighed deeply and continued. “I was _that_ kid in school, the one who walks around with a target on his back. I was gangly and my ears stick out, pretty much every bully’s wet dream. I guess the bullying made me angry, and I'd lash out at home, just generally make any time my parents were actually in the house even more unbearable than it already was for them.

“When I was fifteen, they decided they couldn’t handle me anymore. They didn’t have time for me. Maybe it would’ve been better if they’d decided that long before then, but the damage was done, they hated me. They might not admit it, but actions speak louder than words. They couldn’t bear to be around me. Their jobs were more important than I was.

“They sent me to live with my Uncle Luke, who had a lot more time on his hands to deal with an unruly teenager, but he didn't trust me. He always kept me at arms length. I calmed down a lot there, though. I started doing work experience at First Order when I was sixteen—I was always really interested in photography, and it sort of felt like an escape.

“At the same time, and don’t laugh at this, I had been keeping a journal. I used my journal to pour out all the negative feelings I had about my bullies, about my parents, even about Uncle Luke. There was some really messed up shit in there; how much I hated myself and my parents—how I wished I could smash my bullies heads through a brick wall. God, I was a mess. But I was coping.”

He’d been talking to the floor, but he looked up at Rey again to check her reaction. She pulled their hands up and pressed a kiss into his knuckles. “It's alright, go on.”

He relaxed a bit and nodded. “One night, I woke up to find my uncle in my bedroom, standing at my desk with my journal in his hand. He was so fucking angry, Rey, I thought he was gonna kill me. I know I’m a big guy now, but a skinny seventeen year old doesn’t take that much to be intimidated by a guy in his forties. He grabbed my collar and pushed me against the wall, he went to punch me and I headbutted him as hard as I could. I just grabbed a bag full of clothes and got the hell out of there.

“I didn’t have any friends, I knew my parents wouldn’t want to see me. I went to the only place I ever felt wanted, and that was First Order—Snoke. I turned up at his place in the middle of the night in my pyjamas and he took me in, he told me that he could make me famous and I’d earn all the money and respect that I ever wanted.

“It wasn’t ideal, but at first it felt good to have somebody constantly there, encouraging me, taking a proper interest in what I was doing. From that point on, my whole life was my work. I put everything I had into it. He told me I was better off without my parents who never loved me. I guess I never realised what that had turned into until I met you. He was a controlling bastard; he made sure I never had time for friends or anything more than casual sex. His encouragement turned into derision within a few years and I just took it, who else did I have?

“But then I met you.” He held her hand against his cheek and shut his eyes. “I don’t know, you were just like this sunbeam that lit up my whole world and suddenly I could see again. I went into work today and all I could see was this bullshit job that I used to love but had become torture, and a boss who thought that I shouldn’t have anything in my life except work because of how much I owed him for taking me in. I had to get out.”

He opened his eyes and pressed his lips together. “I didn’t wanna lose you before I even had you. You’re the only person who’s ever liked me... just for me. Not because you had to; not because of what you could get out of me, but because you geniunely seem to like me, even after I gave you no reason to. Do you still... do you hate me, now?”

Rey felt her heart break a little at his final trembling words. Tears brimmed in her eyes and overflowed down her cheeks. She sniffed and wiped them away with her sleeve, shaking her head. “No, Ben, no! Of course—of course I don’t hate you!” She pushed the melted tub of ice cream out of the way wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

His shoulders shook beneath her. “Thank god,” he whispered, returning her embrace and pulling her closer. “Thank fucking god.”

++++

Ben had been reluctant to let go of her hand, even to call for a pizza, he felt too raw—he had told her things he’d never spoken to anyone about, and she’d accepted him.

Once they'd eaten and watched half of the new season of _Red Dwarf_ together cuddled on the couch, he showed her to his room and gave her a clean towel. She raised her eyebrows at the tartan scarf in his pillow.

“You slept with this?” she asked, picking up the scarf with a smile. “Did you...” She flushed and looked away. “Never mind.”

Ben took the scarf from her hands, trying to catch her eye. “Did I what?”

“Forget I said anything,” she laughed nervously. “It was nothing.”

Why was she acting so shy? What would he do with a—oh. Oh. “Shit, Rey, no!” He lifted her chin so she had to look at him. “Your scarf was not in my bed for any nefarious purposes,” he said with a grin. “You smell good. It was... comforting, I guess. I don’t usually sleep very well.”

Rey smiled. “That’s good, I can still use it, then.”

“No, I told you, it’s mine. I still have time to mark my territory on it if you threaten to take it away again,” he teased. “You can grab a shirt and some sweats from my drawers to sleep in. Keep them if you want, in exchange for the scarf.”

She made a face at his joke. “Fine. I need a shower, so I’m going first if it’s okay.”

“No problem.” He left her alone in his room, rooting out his laptop to busy himself with some editing so that his mind wouldn’t linger too long on the fact that Rey was changing in his bedroom. Naked in his bathroom. Showering in his— _stop_.

Now was not the time to be thinking about naked Rey. He’d never felt more intimately connected with someone in his whole life, and he was hoping she wouldn’t want to go to bed straight after showering; a thought that Ben _knew_ had never crossed his mind whenever he'd had a woman at his apartment before. But he just wanted to talk more—hear her voice.

His breath caught in his throat when she walked out of the bathroom, all fresh from the shower in a shirt that was big enough to be a dress and... no sweats.

She blushed when she saw his expression. “Your trousers were all ridiculously huge. I mean... I know your shirt is, too. I borrowed some boxers, I hope that’s okay. They’re just like shorts,” she gabbled, as if she was trying to explain herself. As if she somehow thought she’d done something _wrong_.

Ben released the breath he’d been holding and pulled her into him. “Jesus Christ, Rey. Are you trying to kill me?” he chuckled into her hair, pressing a kiss into the top of her head. “I’m going to shower. You’re not... going to bed right away, are you?”

Rey pulled away from him looked at the clock on the wall. She bit her lip. “It's nearly midnight, I have classes tomorrow.”

He pouted and looked at the floor in disappointment. “Can't you take the day off?”

“It's my second day,” she said, firmly.

“Will it be Luke? Teaching you, I mean,” he murmured.

Rey cocked her head to meet his gaze and raised her eyebrows. “You know it will be.”

Ben nodded minutely. “Will you tell me about your parents? Please? I can’t sleep until you’ve told me everything, too,” he asked quietly.

She smiled. “Of course, but I _am_ going to bed. You go shower, if you want to talk more after, come and find me.”

When he finished his shower and dressed in more clothes than he’d worn to sleep in in years, Ben found Rey curled up in his bed with her phone in her hand. She grinned when she saw him and patted the bed next to her.

Ben gingerly padded over to the bed, planting himself down next to where she lay with his back against the headboard.

She turned over and looked up at him from her pillow, her tired eyes intent on him. “What did you want to know?”

“Everything,” he said honestly. “I want to know everything about you. The day we met, I was... I was a real jerk when you mentioned my dad. I regret saying what I did.”

Rey shook her head against the pillow. “I was serious when I said not to be sorry. You were right; it was hard to hear, but I needed to hear it. You don’t know how right you were.” She sighed deeply. “They abandoned me when I was five. I barely remember them, but they promised to come back for me and I believed them. I don’t remember their faces at all, but I remember our home was a mess. I remember the smell of vodka.

“They left me in a shopping centre, a police officer found me and they searched for my parents, but no one came for me. I went into foster care, which wasn’t great; my guardian, Unkar Plutt, was a great actor, and he convinced social services that he was looking after me. The reality was that I worked for him at his scrap yard, salvaging car parts to earn my meals.”

Ben tried to settle the cold anger that rippled through him, he clenched his jaw and swallowed thickly. “Rey... that’s fucking awful. Didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I never said anything to the social workers who came to check on me because I didn’t want a long line of different carers for my parents to search through when they came back for me.” She shrugged sleepily. “I met Finn when he came to Plutt's yard looking for parts for his car—his car is a banger, so we became friends after a few visits. He convinced me to apply for a place at university and move in with him.

“After our conversation the other day, it really hit me properly for the first time how messed up it was, what my parents did. How little they must’ve cared for me. I realised that they really did throw me away; they didn’t want me, and they were definitely never coming back,” she sniffed. “I'd never felt so alone.”

She was crying. His strong, precious, sweet Rey was shedding tears over those bastards. Ben felt tears prickling in his own eyes, he hated seeing her hurting like this. He slid down the bed and lay next to her, pulling her into his arms. “You’re not alone,” he murmured.

“Neither are you,” she said softly. He held her tighter.

++++

Rey woke in Ben’s bed, with Ben’s arms around her. Her noisy phone alarm didn’t wake him, and he continued quietly snoring as she disentangled herself from his hold and slipped out of bed to silence it.

He looked so peaceful and comfortable that she couldn’t bear to wake him, even though she didn’t like the idea of leaving while he was asleep. She found a notebook and scrawled a good morning letter for him, leaving it on the pillow she’d vacated and planting a kiss on his cheek before she left.

She picked up her pile of clothes—great, day three in the same outfit—and changed quickly, looking up bus times on her phone. She breathed a sigh of relief, she would make it on time if she rushed for the bus.

In the end she was early. She arrived at her classroom before anyone else and found herself a seat at the front. She considered for a moment whether she should go and find Luke and speak to him about what had happened, but she couldn’t think of anything to say.

Luke walked in a moment after she’d thought of seeking him out and she tensed, surprising herself with her own boiling rage. She got up from her seat and stomped over to him before she could even think about what she was doing.

“Did you try to assault Ben? When he was a _child_?” she snapped.

Luke cringed away from her aggression, and a pained expression took over his features. He sighed wearily and slumped down in his chair as if all the strength had left his body.

“What can I say, Rey? I’m assuming he told you what happened, there’s nothing I can say that would make it right. What happened that night was my fault, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I would never have done it, though; I wouldn’t have hit him. I was angry, and I was a hypocrite because I was angry with Ben for his own rage.”

Rey couldn’t help it, her heart softened at his dejected appearance. “Why, Luke? Why did you do it?”

He shook his head. “In a situation like that, there can be no reasonable excuse. I’m human, I got mad. Ben was a difficult kid, and that was _not_ his fault, we just didn’t know how to deal with him. We all failed him; me most of all. When we were young, my sister, Han, and I—”

“Han?” Rey cut in.

“Ben’s dad,” Luke supplied. Obviously. “When we were young, we were almost inseparable. My sister is a great woman; she works for the UN, she’s a humanitarian. She’s given her life to a number of great causes, and Han and I have helped her with some risky stuff in the past.

“Once you get into that life—realise the difference you can make—it's difficult to leave. I can’t explain to you the weight of responsibility that was and is on Leia's shoulders. She knows that if she leaves her position, she leaves it open to someone who could potentially cause more harm to the world than good. That’s _real_ harm to real, vulnerable people, I’m talking about.

“They tried their best for Ben, but it wasn’t enough. Ben was a child who needed a strong advocate; he needed someone who loved him and supported him through his school life. When they realised that, Leia asked me if he could stay with me. At the time I was working from home, so I agreed.”

Rey’s phone buzzed and she checked it straight away, knowing it would be Ben.

**Ben:** _I woke up scared, but I found your note. Can I meet you after school again? I can’t believe you’re real and I need confirmation of your existence. X_

 **Ben:** **

 

“Is that him?” Luke asked.

Rey didn’t look up from her phone as she typed out a reply.

 **Rey:** _need to go home and change. We can meet later tho. Thanks for last night xx_

It was probably best for him not to meet her at uni after what had happened yesterday. She looked back up at Luke and nodded at him to show he had her attention.

“Is this really the right time for a conversation like this?” he asked, pointedly looking at the clock.

“There’s never a good time for something like this, but I need to hear what you have to say if I’m gonna be able to respect you as a teacher,” she countered.

Luke huffed in resignation and nodded. “I agreed to take Ben, I was excited about it! Getting to spend all that time with my nephew sounded great. I love Ben, I need you to know that. I need _him_ to know that. He was suffering more than any of us could know. He became quiet and withdrawn when he moved in with me—started spending all his free time at First Order, where he works now.”

“He doesn’t work there anymore, he quit yesterday,” Rey said.

“I'm glad to hear it. The boss there, Snoke, is a... there’s no word to describe him. He’s inhuman. I believe he was manipulating Ben even then, fuelling his insecurities and turning him even further away from his family than he already was so that he could take advantage of his talent. When I found his journal—he told you about that, right?”

Rey nodded.

“When I found his journal, I was horrified. The things he’d written in there; about Leia, my twin sister, and Han, my best friend. God. You can’t imagine. But maybe you can and I’m just an old fool. When he woke up, I was shaken and angry. He was half asleep and he jumped up to take it from me, I shoved him away—too hard. I raised my fist in a reflex, but I wouldn’t have done it, Rey, you have to believe me. He headbutted me and knocked me out. Poor kid was terrified, he never spoke to me again. Yesterday was the first contact we’ve had in twelve years.

“I can say what I like about Snoke, but it was me. It’s my fault Han and Leia lost their son, eventually he stopped all contact with them, too. Leia blames herself, she knows what happened. Han gave me a black eye for it. I’ve been living in Ireland for the past ten years just in an attempt to escape reality, I knew I had to face everything eventually. I did _not_ expect to bump into Ben on the first day of my new job.” He grimaced.

“You’re wrong,” Rey stated simply. “They haven’t lost their son. He’s still alive and well, and I believe he’ll find them again.”

The door creaked and the first few students started streaming into the room, casting curious glances at Rey and Luke. They exchanged a meaningful look and separated, Rey making her way back to her chosen seat.

++++

Ben spent the morning on the phone to his solicitor, arranging the sale of his apartment. An estate agent would arrive later in the day, she told him, to value the place. Ben grit his teeth. He'd only just fucking bought it—surely the value can’t have changed that much?

Nevertheless, he dutifully cleaned his bathroom and kitchen, and the door buzzer went off while he was vacuuming. Only a little earlier than he expected. He let them in with a cursory flick of the button and packed his vacuum cleaner away.

When a knock sounded from his front door, he plastered a smile on his face—not as difficult as usual, what with Rey’s promise to come over later, her text message with _two_ kisses—and made his way over to let them in.

He opened the door widely, and choked on his words before he spoke them. The smile dropped from his face at the sight of her.

Mom.

He slammed the door in her face and dropped to the floor on his ass. What the fuck. What the fuck. What was happening to him this week? What was going on with his life? He struggled to control his breathing as she knocked again.

“Ben?” her voice was weak. Old. “Ben, please.”

Hot tears leaked down his cheeks from his tightly closed eyes. _Go away_. “What do you want?” he managed.

“Won’t you let me in? I want to see my son,” she begged.

Ben chuffed a sarcastic laugh. “There's a first time for everything.”

“I suppose I deserved that,” she sighed regretfully. “Sweetie, if we’re going to talk anyway, why don’t you open the door? I’m old, I can’t sit on the floor anymore unless I don’t wanna get back up.”

He thought of Rey. Waiting patiently for parents who never came for her. _You should call your dad... He said he loves you. Don't take that for granted_. Wiping his eyes roughly with his sleeves, he raised himself to his feet and hesitantly opened the door. He’d forgotten how small she was. Maybe he’d grown since the last time they were together.

“How did you know where I live?” he asked unsteadily.

She reached her arms towards him but he stepped back, opening the door fully for her to enter.

Her sad eyes grew infinitely sadder, and she stepped past him into the apartment, finding herself a seat on his black leather couch. “Luke told me he’d seen you, with your girlfriend. He said you were upset—”

“Obviously,” Ben snapped.

“Yes, well, I suppose so,” Leia sighed. “I couldn’t bear it anymore. Knowing Luke had seen you was the last straw, why should he see you when I can’t? I went to First Order this morning and they told me you’d quit? They gave me your address. I needed to see you, Ben, I needed you to know how much we love you; how much I love you. And how sorry we are. You won’t answer our calls. I miss you.”

“Don’t lie. You miss the idea of me. When I lived with you, you couldn’t stand the sight of me. Saying you love me and doing it are two different things,” he growled.

“Is that what you think?” she asked, her voice hoarse. “You think we don’t love you?”

Ben slumped down onto the couch next to her. “You really think you do?”

“How can you even ask that? Of course I love you! What on Earth is going on in your mind that makes you think I don’t? You’re breaking my heart, Ben. Won’t you let me touch you? Can’t I hug you?” she asked desperately.

He looked up into her eyes, so familiar. God. He saw them in his reflection every morning. She looked earnest, hurt, regretful, and hopeful all at once. It was overwhelming. He looked away again. “I don’t even know, Mom.”

And then her arms were around him, enveloping him in her comforting touch. After years of the only physical contact he had with other people being meaningless sex, suddenly he found himself receiving more hugs over the past two days than he remembered getting in his whole life.

It felt... nice.

A sharp rap on Ben’s front door and they broke apart, Ben pulling away first and standing up. “That might be Rey. You have to go, Mom; I'm not ready for this right now.”

“Mr Solo?” a male voice called from behind the door. The fucking estate agent. He knocked again and a key turned in the latch. Shit. Ben had been hoping he’d leave, but his solicitor must’ve already passed on the spare keys.

Leia rose from the couch, noting Ben’s awkwardness as he attempted to hide his tearstained face, and strode over to the front door. She stopped and crossed her arms as the door opened and the unassuming grey haired man poked his head in through the door.

“Now isn’t really a good time for us. My son will call you and rearrange your appointment for another time,” she said sternly.

The man cringed at his mistake and disappeared out the door with a brief, “Sorry.”

“I take it that wasn’t ‘Rey.’” Leia raised an eyebrow at him.

Ben shook his head, a slight blush warming his cheeks. “No. I’m selling my apartment now that I’ve quit my job; that was the estate agent.”

“You quit your job for her?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Kinda. More like because of her, I realised I hated it. That I hated my life—especially the idea of my life without her in it.”

“You fell in love,” she said softly.

Ben looked into her eyes and nodded briefly. “Yeah.”

“Can I meet her? You’re expecting her here soon?”

“I am. But, you can’t... yet. We only just started dating, and this—” he gestured vaguely between them. “—this gonna take some time. I don’t even know where we go from here, Mom.”

“Will you answer the phone next time I call?” she asked bluntly.

“Yes,” he asserted.

“Then we’ll go from there,” Leia said with a small smile. “I’ll leave you to await your guest in peace.”

And she did. She left him without another hug, as if she knew that it would be too much for him. Ben was grateful.

He felt his phone rumble in his pocket and pulled it out to check the message.

 **Rey:** _getting the bus to yours. Got the timetable for you and I’ll teach you how to read it lmao xx_

Ben smiled, imagining her sitting on the bus, thinking of him—looking forward to seeing him. It was unreal.

 **Ben:** _It's true that I need a teacher. I promise I’ll be a worthy student. Please teach me the ways of living like a poor person, oh, wise master. Hurry the fuck up, Rey. I need you to hug me again, and I hope you’ve brought a handkerchief, because I’m doing that thing again... having “feelings” like a mere human. X_

 **Rey:** _you’re just going through your emo stage late. It’s cool, I’ve already done it so I’ll help you through xx_

 **Rey:** ***

  
Ben laughed. Hard. And he felt good. He ordered in a take-out and it arrived just after Rey.

“Will you show me some of your photos?” she asked as Ben was drifting off next to her on the couch.

He blinked drowsily and yawned, letting his eyes drift closed. He pointed in the general direction of his laptop on the desk in the corner of the room. “There’s a ton on there. Watch out for the porn.”

Rey’s warmth disappeared from his side and he whined at the loss. He heard her chuckle quietly as she went to retrieve his computer and settle herself next to him again.

After a few moments, she sucked in a startled breath. “These photos... they’re of me? I didn’t notice you taking them. They’re beautiful.”

Ben smiled sleepily. “ _You’re_ beautiful. How could I not fall in love with you that day?” His eyes snapped open and he sat up straight when he realised what he’d just said. “Sorry—that's crazy, I know, please forget I said that.”

Rey was staring at him, her eyes wide and glassy. “You love me?”

“Please, Rey, I didn’t mean to say that out loud—I'm tired, just forget it,” he said in a rush. Holy crap, what if he’d scared her away? He chewed his cheek and looked at her, pleadingly.

“I don’t want to forget it,” she murmured, reaching out to cup his jaw. “I think I already knew it anyway. Falling in love isn’t crazy, Ben.”

“Maybe not, but after spending one minute looking into someone’s eyes? You've gotta admit that that is a little... fast,” he cringed.

She smiled softly and pulled him in for a tender kiss. “Maybe that’s how soulmates meet.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. This doesn't feel finished, right? You don't have to tell me that. I've created a series for this because it ended up a bigger story than I meant for it to be. My main aim for this was for Ben and Rey to end up happy and in love, and Ben taking steps (not steps that Rey has told him he has to make, but steps he's taking because he is ready) towards reconnecting with his family. I felt that the most important reunion I wanted to happen was with Leia, so that's why it happened.  
> I didn't want to commit myself to writing another longfic as I am already working on one and it is pretty exhausting, but I am planning on writing more of this. The only thing I have planned, and the reason I created a series instead of making an extra chapter, is an epilogue set a few years down the line. The reason I wanted to make the epilogue a separate work is because I plan for it to contain explicit sex (somebody stop me writing smut--I am so sorry) and I didn't want to change the rating on this work as I know that not everyone wants to read that.
> 
> If you decide you DO want to read the smutty one-shot epilogue (I'm planning to make it the fluffiest, most tooth-rotting smut ever) you can click on the series link and subscribe to the series to get an email when I get around to posting it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Oh god this note is gonna be longer than the damn fic when I'm done but I forgot to add picture descriptions.  
> * picture of Deadpool acting shocked but he's definitely not shocked. Text reads: When someone tells you a secret you already know and you gotta act surprised  
> ** picture of Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf holding a bottle of alcohol in a brown bag with stubble on his face. General hobo aesthetic. Text reads: My brains rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me.  
> *** picture of a preppy looking girl and a goth guy sitting on a park bench together eating ice creams. Text reads: when u and ur boo are a lil different but you make it work


End file.
